One of my core values is self-respect. I believe we all need to respect ourselves before others can respect you, that your number one priority should always be to take care of yourself first before we can take care of others. This encompasses body, mind and soul. I preach it to my friends, family, co-workers, across my social media, everywhere. However, something hasn’t been sitting right with me, and that is the realisation that I have not been doing this very thing with myself.
I have not been treating my body the way it deserves to be treated. Despite my constant efforts to eat better and exercise I can’t seem to maintain a healthy weight for long. I’ve been stuck in a constant cycle of dieting since I first started my fitness journey and I’m now coming to terms with the fact that I have been struggling with Binge Eating for almost just as long.
The National Eating Disorders Collaboration defines binge eating as “regular episodes of binge eating accompanied by feelings of loss of control, and in many cases, guilt, embarrassment and disgust”.
Behaviours include consuming large amounts of food in a short period of time, the inability to stop binging, eating without being hungry and continuing to eat to discomfit when already full, binging in secret or alone, and in challenging or stressful times.
Now is the part where I be honest and admit that I am guilty of all of the above and can identify with every behaviour.
When you are showing yourself disrespect at the very least your subconscious knows the way you are acting is wrong. You have that little inkling inside that thinks maybe you are in the wrong. And then there is the outside world that knows what you are doing is wrong.
To make yourself feel better, and stop others from judging, you do two things.
- You downplay what you’ve done
- You make excuses to try and justify why you did it
For me this sounds like, “I don’t do it often/ I deserved it, I worked out today / I’ll go for a longer run tomorrow/ It wasn’t that much/ I’ll be back on track tomorrow’’.
I’ve been downplaying the extremes of my binge eating for the longest time but I can’t keep holding it back for fear of what someone might think.
The point of this blog was not to talk about binge eating, but beside all of this I’ve also been dealing with a sensitive digestive system for years and I’ve finally made the decision to put my internal health as number one priority (rather than my external appearance) and do something about it.
One of the biggest and the most common cause of the deterioration of your digestive system is from overeating and consuming poor quality foods. Constant overeating sends your body in overdrive, spikes insulin, creates hormonal imbalances, inhibits the body’s ability to absorb nutrients, increases toxicity in the body, and puts way too much stress on your stomach, intestines and major organs. When I started researching more about our digestive system, the adverse impacts of over-eating quickly came to my attention and I put two and two together…
Binge eating may or may not be the sole contributor to my sensitive digestive system but it definitely has not helped the situation, and I’m at the point where my digestion issues are impacting my day-to-day life, and change is required.
In order to implement change, we must first bring awareness and recognise what needs changing.
I’m not saying I am an extreme case, or that it is a mild case either. This is just my experience and the reason I have decided to be open about my Binge Eating is that I believe awareness and taking responsibility for our actions is the first step in the healing process.
I’m going to be documenting my journey to healing my gut and overall health so if you have any information, experiences or knowledge you want to share please comment below, or send me a message, I’m always around!
Jessie Michelle x
Note: This post is from my own personal experience and I do not intend to diagnose or treat anyone who may be suffering from binge eating or an eating disorder. If you are struggling don’t be afraid to ask for help. For further information visit http://www.nedc.com.au or contact a trusted medical professional.